Genuinely eaten my body weight in pizza, hanging rough from last night most likely having gained some rare blood disease from the amount of dirt and gravel embedded in my battle wounds from yesterday
But most importantly as of Friday my school career is over. A levels done.
Gluttony and Lust, my two favourite sins
Always have £1 on you at all times because if things get bad two intrinsically good things still have the potential of happening
- You can buy a cheeseburger from MacDonalds for 99p
- You can donate 1p to charity.
Fed yourself and the world. Job done.
OK this may be a little narcissistic but I’ve been on such a downer recently I’m going to treat myself to some positive inward reflection
There’s one thing I really fucking like about myself. I’m straightforward. I’m not afraid of saying the wrong thing when it actually comes down to it, I think I can just admit something that I know I should be ashamed of or that other people wouldn’t say because whatever the reaction at least it was unadulterated honesty.
And the best part is, even when it goes wrong I just can’t feel bad about it. It also helps me gauge so easily how good a friend someone is or will be to me. It helps so much with first getting to know someone because if I can just chuck something out there and they just accept it seamlessly I feel an automatic connection.
Yes, this makes me happy.
A friend of mine asked me why I liked girls today
I thought about it for a bit and then said that I like being surrounded by beautiful things in all aspect of my life, that’s why I’m an artist. The people I choose to be with are no exception, I happen to find women exceptionally beautiful in all their forms. I admire and appreciate their inner strength and their outward beauty too.
She looked at me and was like… Boobs?
I said, Oh no yeah pretty much boobs are the main reason but all that other shit too.
I need to hate certain people. I can’t operate properly without it, it’s so bad and I hate it about myself. There’s always that one person who I hate from first sight and nothing and no amount of kindness from them will change my mind. It’s becoming such a pattern and I’m starting to really resent it. I thought at first it was just personality clashes but it’s just a major flaw in me. It’s not jealousy, not bizarrely disguised attraction, not uncertainty it’s just a sporadic projection of my inner discomfort on some poor innocent person with minor aggravating traits.
I really want to change this.