I need to hate certain people. I can’t operate properly without it, it’s so bad and I hate it about myself. There’s always that one person who I hate from first sight and nothing and no amount of kindness from them will change my mind. It’s becoming such a pattern and I’m starting to really resent it. I thought at first it was just personality clashes but it’s just a major flaw in me. It’s not jealousy, not bizarrely disguised attraction, not uncertainty it’s just a sporadic projection of my inner discomfort on some poor innocent person with minor aggravating traits.

I really want to change this. 

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I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me ryhme

I hate the way you’re always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you’re not around
And the fact that you didn’t call
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

(via fromdiana-deactivated20110923)

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