I need to hate certain people. I can’t operate properly without it, it’s so bad and I hate it about myself. There’s always that one person who I hate from first sight and nothing and no amount of kindness from them will change my mind. It’s becoming such a pattern and I’m starting to really resent it. I thought at first it was just personality clashes but it’s just a major flaw in me. It’s not jealousy, not bizarrely disguised attraction, not uncertainty it’s just a sporadic projection of my inner discomfort on some poor innocent person with minor aggravating traits.
I really want to change this.